I read The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box, by Valerie J. Lewis Coleman, in exchange for review from Write Now Virtual Tours. This post does contain affiliate links. I received a paperback copy of the book. I wanted to read the book because the description was interesting. Some aspects of the book could apply to Celibacy Diaries.
The book is about Debra, who has been in a string of bad relationships. She jumps in the bed too quickly. At the beginning of the book, Debra is in a "relationship" with Vincent. She is like a sugar mama to me. They have different beliefs in God, but she wants to marry him. She also spends a lot of money on him. As she leaves church, she decides to accept his proposal, but catches him in a bed with a "friend". A "friend" she only been on a few girly dates with. Not a real friend. Eventually, she moves on to another man, who only dates her long enough to get her in the bed, only to never be heard from again. To me, she gives her all to men, who are not worth her all.
The book also discusses Debra's two friends, Rachel and Sherry. Rachel is in the perceived ideal relationship with Brian, but the relationship has problems. Rachel brought their company out of scandal. She also runs around being superwoman, while he does, what seems to be nothing. One thing, which stood out, was Rachel feels that she can handle her marriage is because of her office husband. She seems to confide in him more than her husband.
Sherry, is in a relationship, with Dwight, but not much is known about Dwight. She had to change her behavior and attitude to make room for Dwight. Sherry used a relationship guru to work on her. She recommends Dr. Reed to help Debra out in her funk.
One passage, which stood out was the first meeting with Dr. Reed. Dr. Reed told her that men, think of women as a walking vagina, aka the goody box. The Dr is going to help her navigate the forbidden secrets of the goody box. Dr. Reed also said that women give away the goodies, without too much thought, then wonder why men quickly leave after getting it (p. 80). Some men will say or do anything to get into the goody box and then leave after accomplishing the mission. The heart is not involved in the beginning as much as the penis is.
Yet, Debra does think with her vagina first. When Dr. Reed asks Debra to create a list of characteristics she wants in a mate, Debra lists sex first before God. God did not come in until the end. Having a relationship without God as the foundation will result in disaster. The list got longer after she calls Rachel and Rachel definitely has a business mindset.
One way to see if a man wants you or wants sex is to withhold sex. Do not have sex with a man right away. Of course, you do have men, who are willing to wait and still leave, but I digress. Celibacy is a wonderful thing. Back to the book, Dr. Reed also says the goody box has magnetic field, which draws men in. If you give in too quickly to sex, you may not get him emotionally attached to you. Of course
This reminds me of an conversation I had with a former sex partner back in 2005 or 2006. He was only a convenient sex partner, since he stayed within 10 to 15 minutes from me. One day, I was having an issue with the soon-to-be-ex-husband. I am separated. I decided to vent quickly to this man. He told me that he isn't interested in all that. He does not want to know about my problems or issues. He just wanted sex. Even though, he made this comment, which upset me, I still had sex with him. The comment changed my attitude and behavior towards men. I was more closed off. I did not want to share anything with them. If all I am is sex, then I should not get emotionally involved.
Other things I liked in the book:
- Dr. Reed said to know what you want before getting into a relationship (p. 82)
- If something isn't working, then change how you handle the situation. Doing the same things over and over again is insane.
- Write a list of characteristics or traits you want in a relationship. Be specific, not vague, not generic. Then, provide the why each trait is important. Also list if the trait is a deal breaker or not. For example, Dr. Reed said, if you want a man, who loves God. Does that mean he attends church weekly or just major holidays? Is he actively involved in several ministries or just acknowledges a superior being exists? (p. 84).
Excerpt (copied from media kit)
Chapter 1
For the Love of Vincent
Sunday-morning service stirred Debra Hampton’s heart. The poignant message convinced her to resolve a matter that had her torn for almost a year. She had been undecided about whether to marry her live-in boyfriend, Vincent. He didn’t share her religious beliefs and refused to go with her to church, but she knew that he was the best man for her.He laughed at her silly antics, talked with her about her ambitions and encouraged her to greatness. He made her the focal point of his life and involved her in every decision no matter how minute. But it was his touch that held her hostage, kept her toying with God’s love by giving herself to a man who was not her husband. With her head bowed to hide the free-flowing tears, she exited the church without speaking to anyone.
She sat in her Mercedes S550, took a moment to freshen her makeup, expelled a sigh of relief. She looked to Heaven through the panorama sunroof, smiled, closed her eyes, gave thanks. The decision to accept Vincent’s proposal resonated; filled her with peace as she trusted the Lord with her soul mate.
The thirty-minute drive from the inner-city church to her suburban home gave her ample time to reflect upon the life they would build together: three children, business partnership and unlimited mind-blowing sex. The rush of blood to her southern bell—the name her mother called her vagina when she was a child—gave her pause. Fortunately, she was stopped at a red light. She clicked through the Sirius Satellite stations and then opted to enjoy tunes Vincent had downloaded to her iPod a few nights prior.
As she turned into Creekwood Estates—a lavish community north of Dayton—she admired the mansion-sized homes set hundreds of feet from the street. Manicured lawns featured rows of exotic trees, shrubbery and blooming flowers. Cobblestone driveways boasted luxury cars and backyards had customized gym sets or in-ground pools. Her stucco and brick palatial home was small in comparison to those of her neighbors, but it was big enough for her family-to-be. She loved the side-entry, three-car garage because it camouflaged the unpacked moving boxes from passersby. She parked in the usual spot—closest to the mudroom door—and then she smiled wide. “He’s home.”
The thirty-minute drive from the inner-city church to her suburban home gave her ample time to reflect upon the life they would build together: three children, business partnership and unlimited mind-blowing sex. The rush of blood to her southern bell—the name her mother called her vagina when she was a child—gave her pause. Fortunately, she was stopped at a red light. She clicked through the Sirius Satellite stations and then opted to enjoy tunes Vincent had downloaded to her iPod a few nights prior.
As she turned into Creekwood Estates—a lavish community north of Dayton—she admired the mansion-sized homes set hundreds of feet from the street. Manicured lawns featured rows of exotic trees, shrubbery and blooming flowers. Cobblestone driveways boasted luxury cars and backyards had customized gym sets or in-ground pools. Her stucco and brick palatial home was small in comparison to those of her neighbors, but it was big enough for her family-to-be. She loved the side-entry, three-car garage because it camouflaged the unpacked moving boxes from passersby. She parked in the usual spot—closest to the mudroom door—and then she smiled wide. “He’s home.”
Debra grabbed her purse and Bible and then jaunted into the house. She placed her belongings on the granite countertop, careful not to make noise. Since the television wasn’t locked on a sporting event, Vincent had to be resting in the master suite. A 3,500-square-foot home and he preferred the family room and bedroom. She slipped off her stilettos, tiptoed up the stairs. Her heart beat faster with each step. She wiped her palms together to dry the sweaty moisture, pressed her ear to the door. His subtle snores seeped through. She giggled and then covered her mouth to halt the escape of more laughter.
She opened the door, peeked in, swung it wide. “Vincent! What the devil?” “Debra, what are you doing here?” After a quick dismount, he rummaged the floor for his Fruit of the Looms. “When’d you get home?” “Who is this woman and why is she in my bed?” She ran to the side of the bed, towered
over her betrayer. Breath stalled in her throat, eyes widened. “Catherine!” Catherine—the first person to welcome Debra to the neighborhood—reached for her clothes, scurried to dress. Debra lunged at her, snatched her by the ponytail, drew back her fist. Just as she connected with Catherine’s right jaw, Vincent grabbed Debra around the waist, pulled her away. She flailed her arms, kicked at his shins, head-butted him in the mouth. When he released her, she pursued Catherine who was halfway down the stairs, underwear in tow.
About the author: (copy was provided from the media kit. )
Valerie J. Lewis Coleman has helped women find relational fulfillment by identifying the four types of male hunters, avoiding seventy percent of men who only want the goody box and winning the heart of Mr. Right-For-You. She explains how she overcame struggles and offers proven techniques to help you get off the crazy cycle of relational demise in her novel The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box!
Visit TheGoodyBoxBook.com for the sequel, prequel and upcoming events! The bestselling author of Blended Families An Anthology, Valerie has helped thousands of families navigate the challenges of child support, visitation, discipline and more. With over twenty years of experience in family and relationships, she has given advice on varying issues including baby-momma drama, defiant children and disapproving in-laws. On her journey to assist others with building strong families, she shares her testimony and provides practical tools to help you stop the stepfamily madness in your home!
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Buying the book:
The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box
is 4.99 on Amazon (Kindle) and the paperback is 13.46 You also can order the book on Smashwords and through the website. The Smashwords version is 4.99.
is 4.99 on Amazon (Kindle) and the paperback is 13.46 You also can order the book on Smashwords and through the website. The Smashwords version is 4.99. 
